Superboy Prime Retcons the DC Universe
by Cyclops is Right
Summary: A somewhat parody of "Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe" except Superboy Prime's famous retcon punch happens instantaneously whenever he wants to. Follow SP (told through his point of view as an unreliable narrator) and see the kind of changes he makes to Post Crisis/New 52. (Slight wall break warning because he refers to some people as comic book characters from time to time.)
1. Chapter 1: Guess Who's Back?

**NOTE: **This chapter will be by far the shortest because it sets up the premise. It picks up immediately after Infinite Crisis and the following chapters will deal with continuity from Post Infinite Crisis and the New 52 mixed together (maybe a little bit of Rebirth too if I'm feeling it, even though I prefer it more than the New 52. Just feel like there's more to nitpick for New 52.) If I get any continuity wrong please bear with me, I can only memorize so much lore from all of these DC heroes. Also, if anyone seems to be acting out of character, remember this fic is a comedy/spoof. Thank you. :)

* * *

_Um, hullo?_

I wake up in a dark place, my memories all garbled.

_What happened to me? Where the hell am I?_

I sit up- or at least it feels like I do, everything around me is black. I rub my eyes trying to adjust my eyes to the darkness. But no avail.

"Hey, anyone here?" I call out, and in response, a bright light flashes in front of me.

"ѕυρєявσу ρяιмє." a powerful voices say, it's almost as if they speak as one. You could clearly hear an adult male and woman, and faintly, other voices of younger people.

I get up to slowly walk toward it, but no matter the further I walk, the light doesn't get closer- unless it appears that I am stuck in one place. "Yeah, that's me. Who's asking?"

"ι αм тнє ℓιтєяαℓ мαиιfєѕтαтισи σf яєтяσα¢тινє ¢σитιиυιту αи∂ ι αм ιитєяєѕтє∂ ιи уσυ ѕυρєявσу ρяιмє." The voice replies.

"Me?" I cock my head to the side curiosity, "But why?" Though of course I was being humble, who _wouldn't _be interested in me. Amirite?

"ι αм αωαяє σf тнє єνєит ¢нαиgιиg ρυи¢н уσυ ¢αυѕє∂, ¢нαиgιиg тнє нιѕтσяу σf єαятн 1."

I raise my brow intrigued, I recall my escape from the Paradise Dimension. The walls of the Paradise Dimension were lines with crystals that replays events. When I punched it tk break free, some events were changed. I remember so much as what happened after, and my own defeat, but after that is where the blanks start drawing up.

"ι ωσυℓ∂ ℓιкє тσ вєѕтσω му яєтяσα¢тινє ρσωєя υитσ уσυ αи∂ αℓℓσω уσυ тσ fяєєℓу ∂σ ωιтн тнє ωσяℓ∂ ωнαт уσυ ωαит."

I liked the sound of that a lot. Smirking, I cross my arms. _"Anything I want?" _I ask the disembodied voice. (Well unless the body of the voice is the light that shines before me, then I have no idea.)

"αиутнιиg. уσυя σωи ℓιттℓє ѕαи∂вσχ íf уσυ ωιℓℓ."

I tap my chin, considering the offer. "What's the catch? Things like this don't just fall in your lap."

"αує, тнє σиℓу тнιиg ι ωαит ιи яєтυяи ιѕ уσυя ¢σмρℓєтє∂ ѕαи∂¢αѕтℓє, ѕσ тσ ѕρєαк. ι ωιℓℓ ℓєт уσυ нανє тнє ωσяℓ∂ уσυ ωαит αи∂ мєя¢нαи∂ιѕє ιт тσ σтнєя єαятнѕ, ℓιкє тнє σиє уσυ υѕє∂ тσ ιинαвιт, ωнєяє αℓℓ тнєѕє нєяσєѕ αяє ¢σмι¢ вσσк ¢нαяα¢тєяѕ."

"Hm…" I didn't have many other options, for all I knew if I refused, I would be stuck in this dark space forever, or maybe put back on stupid Earth 1 to be punished. Besides who am I to deny myself more power? Tch! As if!

I nod in acceptance, "I will take up your offer… erm.. What do I call you?"

"ρℓєαѕє ѕυρєявσу ρяιмє, ¢αℓℓ мє яєт¢σи fσя ѕнσят."

I dip my head in understanding and somewhat reversed fashion. "Okay Retcon, I accept."

"fαитαѕтι¢." Retcon replies, their voice sounding please. They bestow me their power and I could feel it running through my veins. I already feel stronger than I was before, especially since there wasn't any sunlight to give me my kryptonian powers. The light of Retcon was just enough for me.

Using my new awesome powers I make my escape out of this dark realm. Cracks of light form all over and the darkness shatters. I reappear in what seems to be Smallville in the middle of a cornfield. I bear my fists and fly above the field, ready to wreak havoc.

"Look out DC Universe, here comes Superboy Prime."


	2. Chapter 2: Ween Titans

_Alright, first things first. _I have to get rid of Superboy, not me Superboy, but Conner Kent Superboy. I was supposed to be Superboy, not him! I'm clearly so much better. I'm what Clark needs for his Superman supporting cast. (Which is funny because my name is also Clark.) And most of all, I should've been a Teen Titan instead.

Anyways, I skip out of Smallville and fly to the giant T-shaped building the Teen Titans call their home. I scanned the building for Conner with my X-ray vision and immediately make my presence known by crashing through the window and tackling him.

Barely given time to react Conner regards me with awe, and stumbles over his words. "Wh- h-, _you?_ I thought we got rid of you? You lost!"

I smile with pure joy, thank you Retcon, without you, I wouldn't have been able to see the look on his face right now. "Yeah, I know right?" I reply "The universe favors me I suppose."

"No way." Conner scoffs, and shoves me off of him and into the couch.

"Yes way." I contradict.

_"Please no." _contradicts another voice in the hallway, I look over and I see Wondergirl. No not Donna Troy Wondergirl, Cassandra Sandsmark Wondergirl. A sorry blonde substitute in my opinion, Donna would always be superior in my book.

Cassie sighed, and grabs her communicator to phone in the other Titans before grabbing her lasso. "Let's please get this over with. I don't want to see this murderer anymore." she mumbles.

I eye the lasso and raise a brow, "Oh, what are you going to do? _Tie _me up?"

Cassie scoffs, her arms falling down at her sides. "Tch… _no._"

"You were, weren't you?" I press on, bursting her bubble.

"Oh, just shut up!" Cassie twirls her lasso and throws it around my ankles, keeping them bound. She starts to drag me toward her before yanking me up and tossing me to Conner.

Conner promptly throws me out the window, and it might seem like I'm getting beat up here, but I'm just letting them relax a little. I haven't even got to use my new retroactive ability yet, I just need all the Teen Titans there to see it.

As I hurtle towards the ground, I spotted Raven, Beast Boy, and Starfire. _Oh yeah it's all coming together._

Raven opens up a portal to catch me in and allows Koriand'r to shoot some starbolts into it. I feel the starbolts singe my skin, but overall I was fine.

"Is it just me," Koriand'r starts, beating a befuddled expression, "or is he the easier to fight this time around?"

Garfield shrugs in response, offering his answer "Maybe he's weaker this time."

"No." Raven says. "I feel he is much stronger this time. He's fooling us."

"Very good Raven, I think I may just keep you around." I say, peeking out of the portal, my eyes glowing red as I prepare a heat vision blast. Quickly, Garfield turns into a gorilla, ripping me out. He attempts to toss me to the side but I pull a sneaky one on him and completely throw him over my head.

The other Titans make no haste and begin a barrage of attacks on me, Cassie and Conner joining in soon. I fend them all off and exhibit the first of my retroactive ability: I now have force fields. With a simple thought, my added power is ignited and a forcefield is created around me. The Titans gasp in awe.

"He can't do that!" Conner cries out, feeling very cheated. "... Right?"

"You're right." agrees Cassie. "He didn't do that last time."

Using her soul self, Raven bangs on my forcefield, cracking it a little because Raven is pretty powerful not gonna lie, but against me, she doesn't stand a chance.

I burst out laughing. "Oh man, you guys looks _so _defeated right now. Some of you gonna cry?"

None of them say a word and just look at me with slack jaws and gritted teeth.

"Wow… tough crowd. Well I guess without further ado, witness this amazing disappearing act! Now you see him-" I look at Conner and snap my fingers. Instantly, he is gone. "-and now you don't."

Growing angry that her boyfriend just disappeared, Cassie starts pounding on my forcefield. "What do you do with him?!" she yells, tears streaming down her face.

"He's gone. But don't worry, you all have me." I smile at her. "I'm the better Superboy, I mean, what superhero wears jeans and a T-shirt? He's a clone of Superman _and _Lex Luthor, so you'd think he'd be smarter than that."

Unamused, Cassie gives me the death glare.

"Anywho, let's do some house cleaning, shall we?" I look at all the Titans and decide the changes I want to make. "Beast Boy, you're now Changeling."

_"What?" _Garfield protests, "That's lame!"

Ignoring him, I move on. "Whatever Changeling."

I eye Koriand'r and her rather proactive outfit. Seriously, her boobs are all exposed and the costume only covers her nipples. "Give that girl something proper to wear."

Instantaneously, Koriand'r was put into a thick woolen sweater and some sweatpants.

"Much better."

"It is rather… itchy." Koriand'r states, scratching her torso.

"Don't care moving on… Raven you can hang… Cassie…" I squint at Cassie, trying to think of a change for hew but I only drew up blanks. "I don't know. You can sit tight I guess. I suppose I'm done here."

The Titans all exchange nervous glances unsure what to do. Then it hit me: I obviously need to make them like me! Otherwise they wouldn't live with these changes.

"Oh also, you guys all love me now." I add, almost regretting it because Koriand'r started ro give me bedroom eyes. "Okay maybe not like _that_, but like me. I'm a part of the Titans now."

"Were you ever not?" Garfield asks, the retroactive continuity setting in.

I smile, swelling with pride. "Exactly, you're my friends and I love you."

"We love you too Superboy." they all say in unison.

"Ah, the sweetest words ever spoken in the world."


	3. Chapter 3: Man of Steel (Her Man)

I allow the Teen Titans to coddle me for a bit- it was a while since I had felt friendship. The last time would probably be in the Paradise Dimension with Golden Age Superman and Lois (they're from Earth 2 except something happened where Earth 2 is a little different now… how much time passed while I was in the abyss? I mean seriously, Lois is a robot there and Clark is dead. I feel the sadness. Maybe I'll fix Earth 2 as well.)

After I had lost my entire planet, they were like parents to me. And like Alexander was there, and Powergirl too… they didn't really mean the same to me. Either way, Alex is fucking dead and Karen doesn't know I'm back yet, which she'll hate me until I change her mind.

Thinking about Golden Age Supes reminded me of another task I wanted to accomplish. I was watching the Titan's TV set to the news channel and saw a lot of things that made me upset. First of all- what happened to Clark's hair? It's all spikey now and I hate it. Second of all, I don't see any underwear on the outside. Third of all, _and this one takes the cake, _he's with Wonder Woman? _What?_ What happened to Lois?

Angered by this, I subconsciously break the remote into itty bitty pieces, practically disintegrated.

Trying to make me feel better, Koriand'r comes up and offers me cookies. They were burnt on the account of her not knowing how to make anything remotely human, but that's okay.

"Eh… I'm good. But thanks." I briskly dust off the remote particle onto the floor. "Clean that up, will ya?"

Pouting because I refused her cookies, Koriand'r turns to leave, sadly floating away. I almost felt bad for her… _almost. _I could've just made her into a great Baker but I can't do _everything _for these people. They've gotta show some character development!

_Speaking of… _I have to go and save Superman before he wrecks himself further.

I fly up off of the couch, bidding goodbye to my new and perfect friends.

"Be seeing you Titans! Don't wait up!"

"We'll try not to!" says Cassie, eagerly waving goodbye and Garfield calls out from the next room, (playing video games I presume) "Yo, pick up some food when you get back!"

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I belong. Yes that excludes time spent in the Paradise Dimension.

Anyway, I bolt out of Titans Tower and head to the one place I may find Clark: Metropolis. Flying all the way there took me about a minute or so because I saw The Daily Planet globe peak my vision.

Now all I had to do was get Clark's attention. Should be easy enough, all I need is Lois and a very high place.

It only took two seconds to spot Lois because she was walking to work on the sidewalk below. With a gust of wind, I whoosh down and scoop her up.

"Superman?!" she exclaims, giving me a questioning look. She was trying so hard not to look down in fear of falling.

"Er… not quite. But I'm flattered. Actually I'm-"

_"Superboy."_ another voice answers for me.

"Why yes! Exactly!"

I turn to see who it is and low and behold, it was Clark! I also realized he didn't call me Prime… I guess removing Conner altogether made everyone forget him and I really did take his place! Sweet!

"What are you doing?" Clark asks me, gesturing towards Lois.

"Fixing your love life." I respond with a grin, before I crinkle my nose at Clark's whole visage. "And maybe we could do something about that outfit."

Clark blinks, quite taken aback. "Wh-what's wrong with my outfit?" He looks down at himself, dumbfounded.

"What _is _wrong with his outfit?" Lois pipes in innocently.

I roll my eyes, "I'm too lazy to explain so… bippity boppity whatever-the-fuck."

And just like Cinderella, Clark's current costumes magnificently sparkles into his more iconic one. His hair also curls up, allowing for that signature look.

"Mwah! _Muy magnifique."_

Clark inspects the differences, pulling on the elastic waistband of the outside underwear. "Well now we just look the same." he mutters, glancing back at me.

I wave my hand dismissively. _"Who cares?"_

Lois suddenly cleared her throat, gaining my attention. "Sorry to interrupt your fashion show boys, but do you mind putting me down?"

"No! You have to marry Clark!"

"What?" says Clark in disbelief.

"Who?" asks Lois.

Clark crosses his arms and gives me a stoic expression. Somehow feels like he's mh disappointed dad right now. "I am perfectly happy with Diana, she means the world to me and-"

Before he gets all soppy, I cut him off "I don't want to hear it, Clois forever."

_"Clois?*_

"Clark, Lois. _Clois._"

Completely lost, Clark furrows his brows together. The last bit of brain cells he had left from this encounter try to come up with something to say. "Well uh… what's wrong with um…"

"Superwonder?" offers Lois.

"Yes! Thank you!"

"Well I-" I instantly shut my mouth because I can't come up with a good reason other than I want Lois and Clark to be together because of all the history they had.

Clark waits for me to say something as I realize that in his point of view he and Diana had a lot of history together. Tampering with someone's love life seems almost wrong and I like Clark a lot… maybe… maybe I'll just let this one slide.

_Not!_

I had ultimate power, I could do whatever I want without consequence! _Hah!_

"Erm, Clois because shut up." I finally say and Lois jumps into Clark's arms, flying away together.

Ah, another happy ending.

_Now what?_


	4. Chapter 4: Of Bats and Cats

I sit on top of The Daily Planet globe pondering the different kinds of comics I used to read. Y'know, back when Earth Prime was _my_ Earth and wasn't destroyed.

I figured since I've already tackled Superman for the better, the best place to go next is Gotham to find The Bat. Locating the Batcave should be easy enough for me so I get to it. Once again I start flying to my next location when my Titans communicator starts to buzz. _Huh, didn't know I had that_.

I pick it up, _"'Um, hullo?"_

I hear Cassie's voice on the other end, "Hey you're going to Gotham right?" she asks.

"Yes that's right, why?"

"Could you say hi to Red Robin for us and ask him where he's been?"

My mind paused for a second because I forgot that Tim Drake wasn't Robin anymore. I mean, he was never _my _Robin, but if he isn't right now, who the hell is?

"Yeah sure, I could do that. Thanks for calling Cassie. XOXO, hugs and kisses. LOL." I reply.

"LOL?" Cassie asks for clarification on the other end.

"Lots of love?"

I can hear Cassie snickering on the other end, "Pfft, yeah. LOL to you too buddy."

_Click. _And she's off. Interesting. I don't want to think too hard about the conversation we just had so I just casually break the sound barrier to get to Gotham faster.

And here I am, sweet polluted air, blimps for some reason, and my favorite part: the red skies. I don't know how they do it but it really sets the ambience. As soon as you step foot here, you know some noir type shit is occurring. _Superhero noir type shit._

I fly over the skyscrapers and head more towards the outskirts where Wayne Manor is located because the Batcave won't be too far off. I hoped that Bruce would be there, or at least one of his many compatriots, guy goes through sidekicks faster than The Flash creates time paradoxes and that's saying something.

I practically break in and enter the Batcave through the waterfall entrance and make my way to the front were the Batcomputer is. And there Bruce is, sitting in the seat.

Feeling the gust of wind that usually comes with super speedy fly, Bruce pauses his typing for a moment. "Clark." he greets, without looking at me.

"Well yeah, unless you are referring to Superman then you are wrong."

Bruce stiffens a bit, revealing to me that he actually thought I was Superman, and therefore he was wrong for once. "_Hn. _Superboy, what brings you here?"

I shrug, "Can't a guy just drop in and say hi?"

"No."

"Well that seems to be a you problem." _Wait, that's it! _Batman's problem is that he's never happy, and keeps everyone at arm's length, even the people he supposedly trusts.

Bruce just stays silent ignoring me, continuing to clack away at the computer. From the looks of it there seems to be an issue with owl people. Weird.

"Sooo…" I start, "How's Robin?"

"Damian is fine." he replies.

_Who?_ "I mean- Tim, how's Red Robin?"

"Also fine, he's far too busy for the Titans right now."

"_Riiight, _um… how are you?"

That finally got him to stop and look at me. "What does it matter to you, what do you really want from me?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I throw my hands up on self defense. "Who says I want something? Because it seems to be you want happiness."

Bruce simply gives me the death glare, probably plotting to use kryptonite against me. Everybody knows he keeps it in the Batcave somewhere.

I continue goading him, "I mean, who says the Dark Knight can't be happy? And don't you dare say society."

Bruce grumbles his reply.

"You've got a family now, maybe not your parents but who at this age still does amirite?" I smile and joke, it was a bad joke, but whatever. "And you, you could have any woman you want, just say the name and ill help you there."

Without really wanting to know _how _I can help, Bruce instead asks me what my deal is. "What's it to you?"

"I care… because you're my favorite… superhero?" I lie. No offense but Batman isn't good enough to be my favorite, he's good but I'm a Superman fan myself.

Bruce frowns and turns the seat away from me, having his back face toward me again. "It would never work between me and- _ugh _never mind. I don't need to speak to you."

_Ouch. _

"Well I'll just do it for you, let's see… " I materialize Golden and Silver Age Batman comics in my hands and open one of them up. I licked my finger to turn the page. "Hm… Vicki Vale? Random woman who won't show up again numbers two through ten… oh, this is a good one, _Catwoman?"_

The Batman and Catwoman dynamic is often used to refer to Superhero and villain romantic relationships so I don't see why not. She's not the worst villain out there, like imagine if it was Poison Ivy instead? Yuck.

"Go home Superboy." Bruce warns.

"Owie, my feelings? Fine, be that way. I'll go." I say, starting to float away. Of course I don't go without completing my task.

I point my finger willing Selina Kyle to materialize out of thin air. She pops into existence from wherever she came from- in the middle of a heist no less. Typical.

She was holding a diamond, gangster until she realizes where she ended up. _"What the…"_

Bruce stares at Selina with a mixed set of emotions.

"Oh…" Selina smiles at him, holding the diamond behind her back. "How did that get in my hand?" she asks innocently. _"And how the hell did I get here?" _she adds under her breath.

"Okay!" I clap my hands together. "You two kids have fun now! Oh, and Bruce? I scheduled you for some family counseling. You're going to need it. Some of your sidekicks are really on the iffy side with you. 'kay bye!"

I leave the two looking bewildered, and another job well done has been completed. That's like two in the romance department but that's okay. I often dislike it when my heroes can't be happy because of "character." And well I had to end the Superman and Wonder Woman thing because… yeesh.

What were they thinking?


	5. Chapter 5: Boy, I Wonder

I think I'm becoming a god of goodness. I spread nothing but happiness everywhere I go.

When I went to go pick up some pizza for my gang, the lady behind the counter wouldn't stop staring at me with her jaw dropped. So was so happy to see me that she didn't charge me a single cent! I could've sworn she almost cried tears of joy.

_Ah, I love my new powers._

"ι'м gℓα∂ уσυ тнιик ѕσ ѕυρєявσу ρяιмє."

"Huh?" I turned around looking for the voice. "Who said that."

"ιт ιѕ ι ѕυρєявσу." The voice says and a familiar face steps out of the shadows. Someone I'd thought I'd never see again.

"Alexander? What the hell, I thought the clown killed you?" I exclaimed and I grew suspicious, sure this whelp _looked_ like Alexander Luthor the II, but _was_ he Alexander Luthor the II?

Anyway, some explaining for those of you who don't know. Alexander Luthor the II is the son of an alternate version of Lex Luthor on Earth 3. Earth 3 is where an evil version of the Justice League lives called the Crime Syndicate (can't say I'm a fan of Ultraman.) There, Alex's dad was pretty much the only hero. Also, I could never stop myself from letting out a chuckle when I think about Lex's counterpart who has a whole head of hair and his equally head full of hair son.

Alexander shakes his head, causing his glorious red curls to bounce. Ain't gonna front, dude has nice hair, a little 80s style, but hey. "иσ ѕυρєявσу, ιт ιѕ ι, яєт¢σи. ι αм ʝυѕт υѕιиg нιѕ ρнуѕιqυє тσ яєρяєѕєит муѕєℓf. ι αм αωαяє тнαт тнιѕ fєℓℓσω fяσм єαятн 3 ωαѕ уσυя fяιєи∂, ¢σяяє¢т?"

I blink at Retcon unsure of how to react to this. Warily, I hug the pizza box close to me. "Um yeah… I guess you could say that. But this-" I gesture toward them. "- this is _hella_ creepy. The least you could've done was look like Karen. At least she gives me a nice view." Everyone knew Karen- or Powergirl had a nice rack. Not our fault she decided to have a circle cut out on her chest where the House of El insignia should be.

"кαяєи ιѕи'т ∂єα∂. ι ωσυℓ∂и'т нανє вєєи αвℓє тσ υѕє нєя fσям." Retcon informs me. It was pretty jarring to hear Retcon's collective voice come out of Alex's mouth hole. Retcon must've sensed it too because they changed their voice to sound just like him instead. "ιѕ тнαт вєттєя?" they ask. Or should I now say "he" because they sound and look like a male? Well I guess that depends if I call them Alex now… nah, too weird.

I shrug to Retcon's initial question. "Yeah I suppose that's okay."

Retcon dips their head in acknowledgment before tilting an ear to the air. "ѕσмєтнιиg αιℓѕ иєαя. ρєянαρѕ уσυ ѕнσυℓ∂ gσ αи∂ ѕєє ωнαт ιѕ σ¢¢υяяιиg." they warn me, and I too turn an attentive ear. My superhearing picks up a TV store nearby that's playing the news on many of the TVs they have for sale. Initially I thought it was just some celebrity drama news channel because all I heard was this:

_"It's an all out brawl now that she caught him cheating on her! She's a mad heifer that one. What will happen next?"_

I wanted to stop listening, thinking that Retcon was pulling my leg, but something caught my attention.

_"The money is on the table, who will win, Wonder Woman or Superman?"_

"Uh-oh." I mutter. "This is my fault."

"υн-σн ιи∂єє∂, вєттєя gσ fιχ тнαт."

I nod, quickly heading to the heart of the issue. Apparently they were outside an apartment complex in Metropolis. _Great, I have to go back there again_.

I kid though, it doesn't even take me long to get there. I can already spot Wonder Woman and Superman circling each other for a spat. It helps that they're wearing bright red and blue in the middle of the night.

I land close to them and set down the pizza box. "Hey, uh, guys-"

"How _could _you Clark, I thought you loved me." Diana hisses coldly. She whips her lasso, baring her teeth. She was definitely mad. And yet, I could see the heartbreak in her eyes.

I wanted to feel bad, because I too had a love of my life. Too bad she died in a car crash… along with my adoptive parents… I would bring them back, but I don't think I can handle it. Just thinking about them made me shed a tear. But alas, Clark's voice drives me out of my brood.

"Maybe I did Diana, but I have found someone new." he says.

The two didn't even notice me yet.

"Found someone new? _Found someone new?" _Diana throws her atom splicing dagger dangerously towards Clark's face, but he was quick enough to catch it. Though while not paying attention, Clark cuts himself by grabbing the blade by well… the blade part. Indeed Diana's atom splicing blade could even draw Superman's blood. Magic happened to be a Kryptonian's weakness.

"How _dare_ you just find someone new? Why just the other night we-"

I decided this was my time to intervene before she starts talking about Clark and herself in the bedroom.

"Whoa, um hey. Hi. It's me, Superboy. Hello."

They turn towards me, Clark looming relieved, and Diana somehow looking even more mad.

"Superboy! Oh thank God!" Clark comes toward me with his bleeding hand. "Listen, please tell Diana not to fight me. She's gone crazy."

"Well I would but-"

"Do you wish to speak in front of our son then Clark? How you cheated on me?" Diana says, cutting me off. Man, getting cut off seems to be happening a lot lately, huh?

Also, wait… _"Son? _I'm sorry… did you just, heh… _what?"_

_"_тн ¢нαиgєѕ уσυ ¢яєαтє∂ αℓѕσ ¢αυѕє∂ уσυ тσ вє ¢нαиgє∂ αѕ ωєℓℓ._"_ Retcon says in my head.

"I'm doing the retconning! I'm not supposed to be the one getting retconned!" I protest.

"ιт ѕтαятє∂ ωнєи уσυ ∂є¢ι∂є∂ тσ тαкє ¢σииєя кєит'ѕ ρℓα¢є."

"Yeah but he's a clone of Superman _and _Lex Luthor!"

"яєт¢σиѕ ∂σи'т αℓωαуѕ єи∂ υρ ρєяfє¢т. нєяє тнєу єи∂є∂ υρ α∂σρтιиg уσυ."

I scowl, getting ready to undo this. Diana and Clark were already looking at me crazy as I seemingly spoke to myself. I guess they don't hear Retcon as I do.

"ѕσяяу вυт уσυ ¢αииσт υи∂σ уσυя σωи ωσяк."

"Bitch, _what?_ You can't be adding new rules like that?"

"ιт ωαѕ тнє fιиє ρяιит σи уσυя ¢σитяα¢т."

"What contract? You never had me sign a contract?"

"ι gανє уσυ уσυя ρσωєя. ιf ι ѕαу тнєяє ωαѕ α ¢σитяα¢т, тнєяє ωαѕ α ¢σитяα¢т… вιт¢н." Retcon says, sounding awfully proud of themselves. I didn't like how they were progressively getting sassy, but y'know what, I'll deal with it. I'll deal with this.

Who cares if Diana was my foster or adoptive mom or whatever, I made it so that Loud and Clark were together anyway.

"Clark look." Diana says, pointing at me. "It's clearly tearing him apart. He's talking to himself!"

"I don't know what you want me to do Diana… Superboy, are you okay?" Clark gives me a sincere look that almost breaks my heart. _Almost. _That is, _if I had a heart._

"Oh no, I'm fine. It's just that… you do whatever you want… _Clark_. And you do what you want, _Diana._" I say, absolutely refusing to call them mom and dad. Never, never ever, you hear me Retcon?! If everyone forgets about it, it would never stay canon!

I could've just used my powers to make Diana move on, but no… this would be interesting. Perhaps, a wholesome story could ensue. Maybe she could even win back Clark? I mean- I already can't undo the whole Lois thing… plus it was more interesting this way.

I was a stickler for the old kind of stories and the way they used to be, such as Lois and Clark being together, but the most important part about my beloved heroes were the wholesomeness that brought them together. Not this… darkness.

Or am I being a hypocrite because I managed to make things worse? _Psh… nah. _I may have killed people, but I still want that Golden Age goodness.

How about this: I let Clark still love Diana so they're in a love triangle now. Cheesy I know, but it gets girls to read comics too. Amirite? (Besides if this whole retcon thing fails, then I will let them suffer because these are the same people who ruined my childhood. And y'know… beat me up when I tried to save them from this terrible lifestyle.)

Clark and Diana exchange a nervous glance, clearly worried about me.

"I'm good, just going to bring this pizza back to my friends." I step back and pick up the box. "Love you, 'kay bye!"

I quickly depart on out of there because it was too awkward, even for me. I'll come back later to see how my complicated and totally not dark love story is being written.

I am such a good reboot god.


	6. Chapter 6: Fate Intervenes

I finally take some down time and chill out with my fellow Titans. When I had arrived back, the pizza was long cold, and we can't have that happening.

I began to heat it up with my heat vision, but instead I caused a small fire.

"Oops."

"That's okay." Kori reassures with a plastered smile, she claps her hands together and offers an alternative. "Perhaps I can make dinner instead!"

Garfield groans, peeling his lower eyelids down in mock agony. "I was _so_ in the mood for pizza."

"Well," I start, offering my own solution, "how about I take care of it?" I wave my hands around like I'm going to cast a spell. If my power works on people, then maybe I can use it on food? Call it a soft reboot, or a rewrite or whatever.

The pizza was still burning, and before it could spread to the table and the rest of the tower, Raven comes in clutch by porting in a bucket of water with her magic.

"Hm." I gaze at the charred remains of the pizza, willing it to be fresh again. But no matter how hard I stared, nothing happened.

"уσυя ρσωєя ∂σєѕ иσт ωσяк тнαт ωαу ¢ℓαяк."

I tear my attention away and looked around for Retcon, who was standing in the doorway, still using Alex Luthor as his "physical" form.

"Why not?" I ask him, getting a few questioning glances from the Titans. I ignored them anyway, I've come to terms with Retcon's invisibility to others.

Retcon gestures towards the charred pizza with a flick of their wrist. "уσυ ¢αииσт яєт¢σи ѕσмєтнιиg тнαт ιѕ ѕмαℓℓ ιи тнє gяαи∂єυя σf тнιиgѕ."

I cock my head, tossing that information in my head. I suppose that makes sense, but there was something wrong with that. "I thought the butterfly effect takes small things into effect as well?"

Retcon shakes their head. "иσт ιи тнιѕ ωσяℓ∂. ιт нαѕ тσ нανє мєαиιиg. ℓιкє нσω уσυ ¢нαиgє∂ ѕυρєямαи'ѕ ¢σѕтυмє."

_Heck._

Well, I can live with that.

"So I should be making the pizza then?" Kori inquires, giving a curious glance to see what exactly I was staring at.

"Yeah, go ahead. And um, get somebody to help you." I say. Koriand'r had good intentions and all, but I do not trust her culinary prowess.

Kori flies off, going to locate Cassie to help her.

Raven takes care of the mess, teleporting it to God knows where. Not that I care anyway, as long as the smell goes away.

"¢αυтισи ѕυρєявσу." Retcon warns, coming towards me. "α ρσωєяfυℓ fσя¢є ¢σмєѕ тσ тняєαтєи уσυ."

Being pulled from my thoughts, I give Retcon a raised brow look. "Pardon me? I thought no one could threaten me?"

"ιт уσυ ρℓαу ιт ѕмαят, тнєи уσυ ѕнσυℓ∂ вє fιиє. тнσυgн, єνєяуσиє нαѕ α ωєαкиєѕѕ."

"I swear if someone comes with kryptonite-"

Retcon raises a hand and stops me. "иσт кяуρтσиιтє, мαgι¢."

_Great. _

"Well what do I do?" I ask, as Retcon begins to fade. "Wait don't go! Don't you _dare _pull that stunt on me!"

"нєє∂ му ωαяиιиg ѕυρєявσу, нє ∂яαωѕ иєαя."

"No-!" I try to grab their shoulders, but my hands just phase through.

"¢αт¢н уσυ ℓαтєя."

"Don't be that way- oh. You're gone."

Retcon had disappeared before my eyes, probably going back to that realm I woke up in.

While I was conversating with Retcon, I didn't realize that the other Titans have left the room. I don't blame them, someone talking to themselves in a one sided conversation would weirded me out too.

"Well _who's _coming?" I ask aloud, throwing my hands up in defeat.

Luckily, I didn't have to wait too long for my answer because a giant yellow glowing ankh appears behind me. I turn to look, and low and behold…

Doctor Fate himself.

It's funny how there's not even a breeze or a draft in here, bug his cape keeps billowing. I want me some of that action if I could remember to.

"Oh great," I roll my eyes, "it's Kent Nelson. Look, what do you want from me?"

_"You will refer to me as Doctor Fate!" _he demands, out stretching an ominous hand towards me.

"Yeah sure Doc, what're you doing here?"

_"You have upset the balance far enough Superboy Prime."_

"Excuse- it's just Superboy now." I correct, matter of factly.

_"I remember who you are Superboy Prime, a murderer from a world that doesn't exist anymore."_ he states indignantly, which grinds my gears. I didn't like how he stated that.

I point an accusing finger at him angrily, "Yeah, if the balance matters to you so much, where were you when my Earth ceased to exist?"

Fate pauses, exhibiting his fault. I got him there.

I scoff, raring up my heat vision. "That's what I thought. And by the way Fate- I don't care if you port in here or come knocking on my door, you are _never_ welcome."

I fire at him but he promptly creates a light shield in the shape of an ankh to block it.

I hate how Kryptonians are weak to magic.

_So I should change that_.

I don't know how to test if it worked or not so I'm just going to have to get hit. Fate knows it to, so he does exactly that.

He blasts me with magical energy, and at first I feel nothing. _I had done it!_

But then, I begin to feel the searing pain, I had failed.

The energy singed at my costume, removing the "S" and revealing my bare chest which quickly became inflamed with burns.

"H-how?" I strain to ask, glaring at my assailant.

_"They don't refer to me as Doctor Fate for nothing."_

Wow, so Retcon isn't the only one getting snarky around here.

Fate continues to bombard me with energy. He intended to kill me.

I…

I can't let that happen.

I try firing heat vision again to counterbalance his blasts, but he was too strong.

_Blasted magic. _The _one _time that Doctor Fate actually gets up to do something has to be _now?_ To be honest, I had forgotten about him.

Speaking of forgetting, where the hell are the Titans?

_"You are alone Superboy Prime." _Fate answers my suspicions. _"No one can face your fate but you. This isn't supposed to happen."_

I fall, weakened to the ground, landing on my knees. "Yeah, then I think I deserve to know what was supposed to happen before you off me."

Fate steps forward, glowering at me from behind the helm of Nabu.

_"The speedsters got you you."_

Wait, I actually remember that!

"They did! They trapped me in the Speed Force! I recall!"

_"You then escape, and the Green Lanterns capture you."_

"That's pathetic!" I exclaim.

_"However you see it, you do get out again and become a Yellow Lantern. Everything that was supposed to happen, is far better than this… _meddling _you do."_

Gotta admit, being a Yellow Lantern sounds pretty cool. But no. It isn't _this, _not the powers that Retcon gave me.

_"Goodbye Superboy Prime."_

"What-?"

That was it, seeing light, pain everywhere. I was taken out, the easiest and fastest I have _ever _been taken out.

I really am pathetic am I?


	7. Chapter 7: Well Gosh Diddly Darn

Once again, I wake up in an unfamiliar place. Except, instead of darkness, everything is light. It's just white void…

Y'ever seen that episode of Spongebob where Squidward goes to a similar place? And the voices just keep echoing "alone"?

Yeah… this is me right now.

I sit up, or at least I think I do. I can't tell up from down, everything looks the same.

"Am I dead?" I ask aloud. "Is this heaven?"

_Ah, who am I kidding. _

"Is this hell?" I rephrase. Hell seemed a lot nicer than I imagined it. I figured this is what happened after Dr. Fate obliterated me. I still can't believe it. Even with all my power, a stupid wizard in a stupid helmet took me down. _Disgusting. _

"тнιѕ ¢αи вє нєℓℓ ιf уσυ ωαит ιт тσ вє."

I looked around to see if I could find the familiar voice. "You…" I growl, furrowing my brows together. "Where were _you _when I needed you the most?"

At that moment Retcon forms in front of me with their arms folded behind their back.

I pointed an accusing finger at them. "Explain yourself!"

Retcon tilts their head back and laughs. "σн qυσтє ¢σитяαяу ѕυρєявσу ρяιмє. ι _ωαѕ _тнєяє ωнєи υσυ иєє∂є∂ мє."

"Excuse me?"

Is it just me, or is Retcon becoming more arrogant by the second?

"ι ѕανє∂ уσυя ℓιfє." they replied calmly. He took a step toward me and offered up his hand, and I took it. Retcon helped me to my feet and explained what happened.

"ωнєи уσυ ωєяє gєттιиg уσυя αѕѕ нαи∂є∂ тσ уσυ ву ∂я. fαтє, ι ѕтєρρє∂ ιи ʝυѕт αѕ уσυ ωєяє вℓαѕтє∂."

I sheepishly run a hand through my hair, feeling a tad ashamed for being ungrateful earlier. "Oh… _thanks. _Where exactly am I now?"

Retcon motioned toward the emptiness before us. "The same place you first met me."

"But that place was all dark." I point out.

They casually dismiss the thought with a flick of their hand. "иσω тнαт уσυ αяє ∂σιиg му ωσяк, тнє νσι∂ нαѕ вєєи fιℓℓє∂ ωιтн ℓιfє αи∂ ℓιgнт." Retcon waves their hand once more and like birds, comic books come fluttering out of nowhere.

"ѕєє?"

I squint my eyes to peer into the pages and… low and behold, my work was written.

In it I could see Starfire in her gigantic woolen sweater making dinner for the Titans with Cassie. They were recovering from the spell Dr. Fate put them under and wondered where I went.

_Aw… _they do care… even if I made them care.

Oh well, suits my ego well enough either way.

"Wow…" I remark. "That's amazing."

Retcon dips their head. "ιи∂єє∂."

Then it hit me as I snapped my fingers.

"Oh! I remember you said you wanted to merchandise my changes, how's that working out for ya?" I ask.

"тнє σтнєя ∂ιмєиѕισиѕ αяє єαтιиg тнιѕ υρ. тнєу ωαит тσ ѕєє мσяє ¢ℓαяк."

I slowly raise a brow. "Wait… do you mean to tell me you're making money off of all this?"

Retcon shook their hand and put their hand up in self defence. "ι ωιℓℓ иσт ∂ινυℓgє."

I gasp and give them a playful shove. "You are! Aren't you?"

"ι ωιℓℓ иєιтнєя ¢σиfιям иσя ∂єиу. ℓιѕтєи, ∂σ уσυ ωιѕн тσ ѕтαу αℓℓ ρσωєяfυℓ?" they ask and I nod vigorously. "I do!"

"νєяу ωєℓℓ тнєи. ι ωιℓℓ яєтυяи уσυ вα¢к ιитσ тнє υиινєяѕє ωнєяє уσυ ωιℓℓ ¢σитιиυє тσ ∂σ му вι∂∂ιиg."

"Wait," I say, "am I your _pawn?"_

Retcon scoffs, "ωну ωσυℓ∂ уσυ єνєя вє му ραωи? ι ѕєяνє _уσυ _¢ℓαяк."

"Right…"

Wasting no time, Retcon presses their fingertips onto my forehead, placing me into a lucid state. "ѕℓєєρ ¢ℓαяк… αи∂ уσυ уσυ ωιℓℓ αωαкєи вα¢к ιитσ уσυя ωσяℓ∂."

I yawn and slowly sink down to my knees, _"Ha ha… _retcon powers go… _brr."_

The world of light disappears around me as my eyes fall shut.


	8. Chapter 8: Yobrepus

Okay, lesson number one: you do _not _mess with Superboy Prime. There was no way possible I was going to let my quote-un-quote "defeat" by Doctor Fate slide. So now I'm going to get my revenge.

When I returned from Retcon's strange world, I was back in Titans Tower, lying flat on my face on the kitchen floor. I never realized how sticky the floor was before… _ew… _

I was still a little dazed by the travel as my body refused to get up. Something told me that Retcon had more power than I bargained them for. I was left feeling weaker than my battle with Fate. No matter, I didn't even get time to think about it because Garfield was trying to bring me to full consciousness by licking my face in dog form.

"Hey, Superboy, you okay?" Garf asked. "We missed you last night dude. It's like you disappeared off the face of the planet!"

I groaned and lifted my face from the floor. It was like peeling off a sticker from how sticky it was.

"Yeah," I answer. "You could say that. Didn't miss me that much did you?"

Garfield sat and wagged his tail. "It wasn't the same without you. Glad to have you back."

Even though the words were forged from our forced friendship, they still meant a lot to me. Retcon powers or not. It was good to be wanted.

I completely sat up and rubbed my eyes. "Well you're going to have to miss me a little longer, I have something to take care of."

Garfield cocked his head. "Anything the Titans can help with?" he asked good-naturedly.

I shook my head and rose to my feet. "Staying put would be very helpful," I say. "I need to do this alone."

Garfield reverts back to his human form. "Oh… okay."

"You know what you can do?" I offer.

Garfield's face practically lit up in anticipation. "What?"

"Mop this floor." I said. "It's disgusting."

"... Oh."

I smile, "Glad we're on the same page. I won't be gone long, _I hope."_

With that I quickly fly out of the tower and make my way for my revenge. That's right, I'm going to show Doctor Fate what for! First I had to find the Tower of Fate which was a mission all in it's own. The whole point of it was that it couldn't be found easily, especially since it's considered a haven for some.

Although it was going to be difficult, I didn't need to use my new god-like power to find it. All I needed was my good old Kryptonian physiology. Case and point, you can never go wrong with super speed and flight.

Once I did find it, I made sure it wasn't a phoney bologna mirage by flying through it at top speed.

_Well. _

Guess this must be the real deal because I did manage to obliterate that wall there and intrude on Zatanna grooming her bunnies or something. She might have been giving them little bow ties that matched hers. How embarrassing.

Zatanna gave me an astonished expression. "Superboy Prime? I thought Kent got rid of you?" she gasped.

"My defeat was exaggerated." I say, placing my hands on my hips. "And it's just Superboy now, thank you."

"Well you made the wrong choice coming here _Superboy." _she mocked. Zatanna took off her top hat for a brief moment and retrieved her wand from it. She quickly donned it again and breathed a spell. _"Sniahc!"_

Chains billowed out from behind her and rushed to bind me. Since they were magic in property, it was harder to break through them than I normally could. I struggled against the binds as Zatanna flung another spell at me.

_"Etinotpyrk!"_

Soon the chains glow green and I begin to feel weaker. Slowly I descended toward the ground.

Goddammit. She turned the chains to kryptonite. But hey, I could do something about that. Out of sheer force of will, I called upon Retcon to remove my weakness to kryptonite. Funny that I haven't done that before now. No one dared to come at me with that confounded meteor rock and unlike my weakness to magic, it was easier to get rid of.

Zatanna gasped. "Kent was right… you have gotten stronger."

"Yeah? And check this out."

I temporarily remove my weakness to magic so I can be able to break through the chains. Not even going to lie, that felt pretty badass. The look on her face was priceless as I descended toward her level. She took several cautious steps backward, struggling to cast an incantation until she finally thought of something. _"Y-yobrepus nwod!" _she shouted, flicking her wand toward me.

Instantly I was pushed into the floor but because of my strength I crashed right through it and into the garbled hellscape that was the rest of the Tower of Fate.

It was hard to tell up from down or where I even came from. Good Lord, how do Zatanna and Doctor Fate do it? I would've gone insane if I were them.

_"Superboy Prime."_

"Oh good Lord, is that who I think it is?" I say as I crane my neck toward the source of the face.

Doctor Fate was floating there in front of a glowing image of an ankh. _"Why have you returned?" _he asked.

I scoffed and turned my body to face him. "Don't play dumb, you know why I'm here."

_"Then I should ask _how _have you returned."_ he reiterates. He was preparing to attack me but he preferred to hear the answer first. _"Where did you acquire your new power from?"_

I sniffed, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

_"No matter. I shall banish you once more."_

Just like before, Doctor Fate blasted me with a powerful beam of energy. But this time, I was smarter.

"Not this time Fate." I said, flashing a grin. "Or any other time for that matter."

Doctor Fate wavered out of fear. _"No…"_

I chuckle. "Yesss."

Let me fill you in. What is going to do is remove magic in it's entirety and Doctor Fate knows it. If magic ceases to exist, I will no longer have a weakness to it and that pain in my side will disappear.

_"The consequences will be dire!" _Doctor Fate shouts. _"You have lost yourself Superboy Prime… you once stood for something Clark. Whether that something was a jaded mindset, you would _never _do this."_

I shook my head and dismissed the subject. I advance with every word I say. "I can do whatever I want now. Shape the world as I please…and I say… No. More. Magic."

Within an instant the Tower of Fate trembled where it stood with the power of a thousand magicians crying out in pain.

The Helm of Nabu cracked and split to reveal the man beneath it, Kent Nelson. The man who harbored a god's spirit no more. Without his magic power Kent Nelson fell into the void as the Tower of Fate continued to crumble. Seems like a good a time as any to get out of here.

I'm sure Kent and Zatanna will be fine.


	9. Chapter 9: Superboys Don't Cry

Watching the Tower of Fate cease to exist was one of the most satisfying things I've ever seen. One moment it's there and the next, it dissipates into sparkly dust. I think I actually got some in my eye. _Ouch. _

Honest to goodness, I don't actually know what happened to Zatanna or Kent Nelson because last time I checked they were still in there but I'm sure they're okay.

For a long moment I stood floating there, staring at where the Tower was. It felt good to show off my powers but something inside of me stirred.

_Morality, if that's you, you're a little too late buddy!_

Oh well. Before I snapped out of it, a familiar gush of wind blew past me and Superman stood before me. I thought he was going to criticize me for what I did or by the very least, smack me into the ground, but he didn't. I had forgotten that we were on good terms now and well… he's kinda my dad now. (Wonder Woman is also my mom, but we'll get there when we get there. I kinda screwed things up, but I can deal with it.)

Instead, Clark— never going to get used to calling him that when it's my name too— gave me a look of relief.

"Superboy!" he exclaimed. "I finally found you!"

He placed a hand on my shoulder gingerly, a kind of touch I wasn't used to. I returned it with a somewhat anguished expression that didn't go unnoticed.

"Uh yeah," I say, "How exactly _did_ you find me?"

"Call it a fatherly intuition. That and flying around the world a few times." Clark replied. The way he said it carried warmth that just spread out through my soul. I always looked up to Superman… until I didn't. But now he's exactly how I want him to be. _Kinda. _

I somewhat smiled and teased Clark in return. "Careful, you might end up reversing time that way."

For a brief second, the mood is killed as Clark knit his brows in confusion.

"What?"

"Never mind, did you need me or something?" I asked with a brief dismissive shake of my head.

Clark's eyes flash with mild alarm. "I was facing off against Lex Luthor and as per usual, he tried to use kryptonite on me. But all of a sudden I was fine and instead, Lex is the one who was severely weakened." he explained. "I had to fly him to the hospital myself."

I almost snorted in laughter, imagining the look on Lex's face as he was carried bridal style by Supes. "I imagine that went well." I joke.

Clark almost rolled his eyes. "As well as you can imagine. He's dying of kryptonite poisoning."

I hesitated in response. "Well… good." I manage. If Lex Luthor was dying, so be it. He and the Joker killed Alexander who might as well have been my best friend. Not to mention everything else he's done. The follically challenged big brain had it coming.

Clark raised a dark brow. "What?"

He then placed both of his hands onto my shoulders. "Clark—" he starts.

_Yeah, that's never not going to be weird._

"—you can't just wish death upon people, even if they are Luthor."

I tightened my jaw and clenched my fists. I can't really tell him about Alexander, he might as well be forgotten. I actually have no idea if anybody but me remembers him. Or maybe they do.

Continuity was fickle that way.

I reply to Clark anyway. "Well maybe he had it coming." I say.

Superman searched my face as if to see if I was joking or something. A sick joke that would be anyway. I wasn't kidding. Unlike Clark, I stopped caring whether or not people die (unless they are close to me of course) for I have already crossed that line. I have killed, and honestly I'd do it again if it came down to it.

But I am not a villain. Those weren't the type of comics I grew up reading…

_Sigh. _

I float backwards from Clark, forcing his hands off of me. "Forget it." I said. "You're right, I didn't mean it, but what do you want me to do about it?"

It looked like Clark was hurt based on his expression but I didn't think much of it.

"Your power," he says. "You need to use your power to save him."

"ωнαт αяє уσυ gσιиg тσ ∂σ ¢ℓαяк?" chimes a very familiar voice in my head, causing me to recoil and groan.

"Good God, not you too!" I said through gritted teeth. Clark regarded this outburst with alarm and slight confusion. He outstretched a worrisome hand toward me.

"What do you mean, 'not me too?'" he asked with a subtle arch of his brow.

I face palm and let my hand drag across my face so my eyelid was pulled down in annoyance. "Not you!"

This only made Clark more concerned. "What?"

"ι ѕєє тнαт уσυ'яє нανιиg α gσσ∂ тιмє." Retcon says and goodness gracious I swear they've been getting an attitude. Well _someone _thinks they're grown. Don't get sarcastic with me mister! _Er, miss? _Again, I don't really know to be fair.

I was actually glad I couldn't see Retcon because I couldn't deal with seeing them use Alex as their physical form. Now that his father in question was dying, I wanted so hard to forget that Alex died because of him.

"Clark are you okay?" My 'father' asked, seeing as I got no reply.

I vigorously shake my head and wave my hand in dismissal. "I'm fine! It's just I have this annoying ringing in my

ear…"

"ι ѕєє нσω ιт ιѕ."

"Shut up!" I scream. Now was _definitely _not the time, I'm having a morality crisis here! You can slap that shit right onto a DC Comics event title! The last thing I need right now is Retcon popping in to check on me.

Clark grabbed my arm in a vice grip. "Superboy." he stated firmly. He said my hero name instead of my actual name too. He breathed in to speak once more but I quickly cut him off.

"I'm fine." I repeat. "You know what, let's go see Luthor."

Clark gave me a look that said, _"Are you sure?"_ But oh was I sure alright. Yes I was going to save Lex Luthor but not without confronting him about Alex first.

Back in the Paradise Dimension, Alexander Luthor was all that I had. Aside from Golden Age Superman, who turned on me, why _the nerve— _Golden Age Lois Lane, and Powergirl. But who cares about them anymore. I had respect for the last three but Alex had my back. We were so close to fixing everything…

But now I'm fixing everything _my _way.

I did my head to Clark, letting him know that I was ready for him to lead the way and on the flight toward Metropolis I couldn't shake the image of my dead friend from the back of my head.

Or maybe it was Retcon, reminding me that it was them who gave me this power.


	10. Chapter 10: That Man is Poisoned

Do you ever look at somebody and just… _ugh? _That's how I feel about Luthor. He isn't exactly my arch nemesis but growing up reading classic Superman comics, you just grow to dislike the guy.

Oh and he killed his own son.

But here I am having to show proper bedside manner when he can't even be thankful.

_"Ugh,_ you." Luthor remarked upon seeing me enter the hospital room with Clark. He was starkly pale and sweating profusely, literally on his deathbed.

"Ugh yourself." I retort. "Give me one reason _not _to heal you because I would so gladly leave."

Luthor scoffed and turned his head away. It must've taken quite the effort because he was shaking the entire time. I almost wanted to feel bad for him. _Almost. _

"I'd rather die than have one of you red capes save me."

I promptly turned on my heel with an upturned nose in response. "C'mon Supes, we're leaving." I say, and there it was again. Clark's vice grip on my shoulder.

"No." he said. "You have to do something."

"You don't owe me anything Superman." Luthor coughed as he overheard us.

I practically snorted. "Yeah, if he dies right now, nobody is going to miss him."

"Quite contrary." a new voice says. It belongs to a tall and well toned woman— if I may say— by the name of Mercy Graves. She wore her usual chauffeur uniform and her braid was almost as long as her legs. If she wasn't a mortal, I might have been intimidated by her.

"Gee," I remark. "I wonder why somebody like you would miss somebody like Lex Luthor. He must be paying you a lot. Unless… "

Mercy cuts me off before I can make a lewd remark. "The world needs Lex Luthor." she says.

"Aw Mercy, I'm touched." Luthor said before going into a fit of coughs.

I sighed and rolled my head back to look at the ceiling. "Okay, here's the deal… I'll do it, but under one condition."

"For the boy who has everything, what more could you want?" Luthor asked sarcastically. But there was some truth to his words. I can do anything I want now, but why do I feel so empty?

Maybe it's because I lost everyone I ever loved.

Which brings me to this…

"Why did you kill your son." I asked briskly as I turned to face Luthor's pitiful form once more.

"Son—?"

I shut him up. "Don't play dumb. Alexander Luthor, red hair, from Earth 3? Rapid aging issues?"

"Well technically he's not _my _son, he'd be the other Lex's son."

I breathe in deeply. I'm so close to erasing this man from existing and saving everyone the trouble. But I want to be the good guy. I want people to write me as the hero. Is it too much to want Superman to be proud of me?

Now that he's my dad, he's one of the only people I have to relate to now. Sure the Titans are there for me, but back before things went to shit on this earth… Supes really cared, y'know? He _and _the Golden Age Supes. Having them being disappointed in you is a crushing feeling.

_"I don't care." _I breathe through gritted teeth. "If he's one Luthor's son, he's your son. Why did you do it?"

I stare him down as he looks at me with the same unchanging expression.

"Because he failed."

The words fell like a bowling ball being dropped onto some pavement. I could even hear Mercy's soft gasp from behind me, even Clark seems unsettled.

"You killed my only friend because he failed to change the world?" I questioned.

"Well," said Luthor, sending my growing resentment. "When you put it like that…"

I take a step toward him and all of a sudden his bravado goes away. There's not much he could do while dying in a medical bed.

"Mercy, do something!"

I whipped my head around to give Mercy a glowing red stare and she shrunk back, genuinely terrified. Clark was about to step up to stop me from getting any closer but with a few simple words, I stopped him.

"I'm going to fix this." I say.

With a single thought, Luthor was healed and his pale complexion fades into his healthy natural color.

"You… you actually—" Luthor sat up in the medical bed and gave me a bewildered expression.

I rolled my eyes and waved off his bewilderment. "Yeah yeah, no need to thank me because I know you won't do it."

"ℓєт тнєм ѕєє мє ѕυρєявσу."

"Huh?"

Luthor furrows his brows, thinking that I was referring to him. "What? I didn't say anything?"

"ℓєт му fαтнєя ѕєє мє."

Retcon was talking some sort of crazy talk but it seems like it got to me. I clench my jaw and stare through Luthor and the others, trying to tune Retcon out of my thoughts, but subconsciously I really wanted to make Luthor pay. And by seeing his son, I would hope that would do the trick.

"тнαт'ѕ ιт ¢ℓαяк, ℓєт тнєм ѕєє уσυя σℓ∂ fяιєи∂."

"Wait."

Clark, Luthor, and Mercy all exchange glances.

"Wait for what exactly?" Mercy questioned. She looked prepared to pick up Lex and run away with him, as if I still planned to hurt him. But I said what I said, I won't do it.

I turned to where Retcon stood behind me, still invisible to the rest of them. "You're using me aren't you?" I ask him. "What exactly are you, because you are _not _my friend."

"иσт уσυя fяιєи∂?" Retcon twisted their face in mock anguish. "ωну, ι'м нυят ¢ℓαяк. уσυ ѕнσυℓ∂и'т ѕαу ѕυ¢н ωσя∂ѕ ωнєи ι ¢αи тαкє уσυя ρσωєя αωαу."

"Y-you can't do that! You _can't_ take my power away!"

"Are you feeling alright Superboy?" Clark asked me as he tried ro usher me out of the hospital room. From the corner of my eye I could see Mercy go over to Luthor's side and grab his arm protectively. I would wonder what the deal with that was if my thoughts weren't invaded by an otherworldly being.

First world problems, amirite?

"ι gανє уσυ уσυя ρσωєя ¢ℓαяк. ι ¢αи тαкє тнєм αωαу, ʝυѕт αѕ єαѕιℓу αѕ ι ¢αи ∂σ тнιѕ."

Suddenly my legs gave out beneath me as Clark clutched onto my body, trying to keep me up. I couldn't really hear what he was saying. My ears felt clogged and my chest felt extra heavy.

"∂σи'т ¢яσѕѕ мє ¢ℓαяк. ι gανє уσυ тнιѕ ωσи∂єяfυℓ gιfт, ∂σи'т мαкє мє яєgяєт ιт."

With that he eased up on the artificial gravity and left me to my own devices.


	11. Chapter 11: Merciful Me

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm very sorry with the delay, I'm just having trouble figuring out which stories of mine people enjoy reading. So based on favorites and views, I'll update stories accordingly. This seems to be doing well, so here we are with sudden motivation to write.**

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Man, fuck that guy.

Actually, never mind. I take that back, I don't actually want him— _them _to hear me. Whatever they are, I don't actually want to cross them. I like living, thank you very much. Take note of that Retcon.

My ears started hearing clearly again and I was able to get up once more. Clark turned me to face him as he searched me for any ailment. "Superboy?" he uttered and I brushed him off.

"Anyways…" I look past Clark to look at Luthor. "The Doc is in! Who's ready to get healed!" I grinned brightly, despite myself, and not even going to lie, it was an uncomfortable smile.

Luthor glances at Mercy warily. "If he's going to be acting strange like that, I actually don't want him near me." His eyes flickered towards me with distrust. I wouldn't trust my nemesis either if I were him. But his trust didn't matter, I had him in the palm of my hands. _All _of them.

"Feeling better, Lex?" I asked him with both brows raised.

"No, of course no—" Luthor's eyes widened as he wasn't even able to finish his snarky response. He touches his chest, which I imagine wasn't feeling so tight anymore. "I… I _do _actually." He began to sit up and when Mercy tried to help him, he swatted her away.

"S-sir?"

"I feel fine, Mercy." Luthor states, getting on both feet. "In fact, I feel better than I have ever before…"

I clear my throat so the attention would be put back on me. "You're welcome."

"I didn't thank you Superboy." Luthor bites as he points an accusing finger at me. Gosh, ever the ungrateful, Mr. Lex Luthor everybody. I wonder if he's ever said thank you in his entire life.

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind Mr. Luthor." I said with a slight roll of my eyes. "Just keep away from Kryptonite in the future."

"That reminds me…" Luthor turned an accusing glance at Clark. "How come it didn't work on you? What have you done _this _time, Superman?"

Clark would have no idea how to answer that, but he doesn't let that phase him. "I think we should focus on getting you out of here before you're thrown back into prison Lex." he says calmly. You can admire how put together he is. Sometimes I wish I could be like that. Maybe I can once this is all over. If I can change everyone else, who says I can't change myself?

"You will do no such thing," Mercy butts in, ever intent on helping Luthor get out of here. Even though he can walk now, she's still practically trying to pick him up. "C'mon Lex, let's go."

I smile ruefully. "Aw, you should be glad I lent you some of my mercy, Mercy." I laughed at my own joke but no one was joining in. "Come on guys, you know that was funny."

"No… it really wasn't." Mercy groans. To be fair, she's probably heard a lot of puns with her name. But I was going to take my stance.

"Sure it was!" I turn to Clark. "Right, Superman?"

Clark did what could be considered a wince and a grimace and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Lex, Mercy, just go." he says, completely dodging my question. Without furthermore, the two baddies leave the hospital room to go do whatever it is villains do in their free time. I imagine it's always plotting to take over the world, but hey, who am I to judge?

"He is right you know." Clark states, pulling me out of my thoughts.

_"Huh?"_

"Lex."

I turn to Clark and scratch my head. "You know, the words 'Lex' and 'right' usually don't go in the same sentence together." I say. "Let alone the same context."

Clark sighed deeply. "The kryptonite thing, it was like the effects of it were reversed. It had no effect on me, but on Lex, they made him weaker."

I played dumb and shrugged in defeat. "Yeah… how _strange_. Not like I know anything about that."

Clark narrowed his eyes at me in a brief moment of silence before finally saying: "You're starting to worry me, Superboy."

_"Whaaat?"_ I snort in faux disbelief.

"You're talking to yourself a lot, are you sure you're feeling okay?" he asked with pure concern. I almost feel bad for lying to him. But not that much, he could never know the truth."

I scoff and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Pfft, I'm fine… dad." Again, the concept is still very weird but still also the coolest thing ever.

"Are you sure?"

"Never been more sure of anything in my entire life." I state with a grin. "In fact, I never felt better."


End file.
